Ship of Lub
by Kanthia
Summary: Seven Straw Hats, two lucky part time visitors. Thirty four possible pairings. Shoving a lot of teenagers together may have not been such a good idea in the first place...but it makes for a good thirty four chapters of hormone fun.
1. I: ZoLu: Poison

**Ship of Lub**

A Thirty-four-Chapter Adventure in Love  
Featuring all of your favourite Straw Hats ravaged by hormones  
Brought to you by Kanthia's Dirty Mind and Extra Crispy Fingers  
Rated T for Teen and Not Some Kids

_...It's because it's one giant great big hunky-dory ship of love._

___

* * *

_

_**Chapter the First – Poison  
Zoro ecks Luffy**  
_ Word Count: 642  
Pairing: Kuromarimo x Siam  
Rating: Extra Poisonous  
Disclaimer: Kanthia owns at MapleStory.

Well, this was a great mess.

After a misinterpreted conversation with the marksman, their captain had decided that he was the official taste-tester of the Straw Hat Pirate Crew. Just in case anything was poisoned. Because, he had been told, there was once this king named King Usopp who was powerful and wise and yadda yadda, but there were these evil assassins who were trying to poison his food…

Luffy must have missed that last word. For the first day or so, he only tasted food and nothing was really different; it wasn't as though he suddenly started stealing from their plates. He soon grew bored of stealing food and the stupid dartboard cook sure as hell wasn't going to let him taste it before it was set out for a meal. So the captain, undaunted, set out to check other things.

It started with wooden boards. He amused himself for a couple of hours checking each one, one by one, for poison but mostly quality of taste. He graduated to larger things- the mast, his possessions, the possessions of his crewmates, his crewmates.

At least his swords were safe. It took Luffy one taste to decide that they were too sharp to be poisonous.

He woke up once to a hanging moon and the sound of something chewing on something else. Chopper woke up next to the sound of Luffy chewing on his fur, and consequently made enough noise to wake up the rest of the men except for the Magic Eyebrow who was on lookout (who slept too deeply to be woken by a reindeer about to be eaten anyways).

It took a while to calm down the doctor.  
It took a longer time to calm down Luffy, who was convinced that Chopper was poisonous.  
Chopper had to be re-calmed.

He mumbled something about sunrise and went outside to start his daily regiment. Having Luffy running around saying things about poison this and poison that was bad enough without him trying to eat his own nakama. Next thing you know, things will start disappearing at night; wood, planks, the Ero-cook (hopefully)…all because of something stupid Usopp said. Damn the mind of their captain, or lack thereof.

"Zoro?"  
Damnit.  
"Zoro?"  
"Yeah?"  
"Zoro?"  
"What?"  
"ZORO!"  
"WHAT?"  
A pause. "What'cha doing?"  
"Training."  
"Oh." Luffy appeared from the crow's nest, landing with a thud next to his first mate. There was a look in his eyes that revealed both a perilous mission and a lack of any common sense.  
"Zoro, are you sure you aren't poisonous?  
"What?"  
"You know, poi-son-ous. Ha ha ha, Zoro can't spell."  
"Luffy, I don't care what Usopp told you, but-"  
Luffy took his opening. Pulling down rather roughly on Zoro's shirt, he leaned in close to the source of poison and stuck his tongue (poison resistant, mind you) into Zoro's mouth.

Hours passed- minutes passed- seconds passed-  
They were all the same thing.

Well, this was a great _awkward_ mess.

If it had been anyone else, he would be laughing right now. Luffy was (albeit for all the wrong reasons) so damn gentle when it came to –uh, poison-tasting; gently prodding, pushing, checking the inside of his swordsman's mouth. The feeling was foreign to the loveless, weak little kid reeling on the ground after being defeated for the two thousandth time. He had never felt _that_ kind of a chill from cold or _that_ kind of knot in his gut from being stabbed.

He wasn't sure of how to respond. Luffy's eyes were closed in concentration and seemed to be oblivious to any kind of prodding, mental or otherwise. Zoro finally relaxed, stopped thinking so damn much and returned the favour. Before he could get in, Luffy pulled back and smiled the kind of smile that only Luffy was capable of after a first kiss.  
"See? Zoro's not…poisonous."

Zoro grinned. "Yeah, but are you?" He used the surprised silence to close the distance between them again.

* * *

___/owarai_

___inspiration for this mess:  
the song 'poison'  
a sketchy conversation about the 'poison-osity' of the sandai kitetsu  
and that ice-cream zolu that still owns._

___to all the marimosiam fans...  
please don't come to kanthia's house with burning objects.  
shifty eyes  
_

___kanthia_


	2. II: LuNam: Money, Money, Money

**Chapter Two - Galley Fun  
Luffy ecks Nami**  
Word Count:

Nami was brooding in the galley when Luffy came in. The night was late and he was definitely about to set off one of Sanji's Save-the-Meat traps.

"Nami, what's wrong?" Luffy said in a sort of OOC way.

"Nothing," Said Nami, "Nothing. Just the people around here. They seem to love our pairing more than all the other ones, even with all the yaoi that seems to be going on around here. We need to get more people into yaoi. You know how much money I get from filming you guys at it?"

Luffy said nothing, and proceeded to raid the fridge despite being caught in something sharp and pointy.

"But I love money more than you."

Luffy laughed. "And I love meat

* * *

**Chapter Two - Money, money, money  
Luffy ecks Nami**  
Word Count: 578  
Pairing: Eneru x Carmen  
Rating: Expensive  
Disclaimer: Kanthia likes pie. 

"Go apologize, tangerine-head."

"What?" Zoro only called her that name when he was seriously pissed. "What do I have to apologize for? He _ate_ fifty beli."

"Nami," Usopp said softly, "He's your captain. At least tell him you're sorry for yelling so much at him. He'd appreciate knowing that his nakama don't hate him."

"I don't hate him. I just don't like it when he eats my money."

"Well, go and tell him." Zoro put his foot on Nami's backside and pushed her out the galley door, finding himself only moments later to have the same act repeated on him by a cook with a much heavier footprint saying something about a swan.

It was cold and dark and she wanted to go work on her maps or something, but Zoro wasn't going to let her back in any time soon after kicking her out like that. For all she knew, he could be raiding her secret wine stock right now. She'd better hurry.

_Ah, what the hell._ She searched for her captain for about two seconds, the exact amount of time it took her to walk up to the oddly shaped figurehead.

"Luffy?"

He turned around and a small smile danced on his face. "Nami?"

She smiled back, and began to climb up the sheep head. It was damn slippery and quite round as well.

Her hand slipped.

Luffy caught her, naturally, except that for Luffy catching things doesn't mean extending an arm figuratively. It means extending an arm literally. And the retraction is always painfully painful when your body is smashed into solid things like wooden sheep-heads.

"…Warai." He grinned and laughed, probably not realizing that he was apologizing for nearly crushing all of her bones.

She sighed at length. "It's okay. I…I'm sorry for yelling at you today. Just…don't come into my room unless I'm there, okay?" Her legs dangled off the end of the head, her eyes turned towards the shy stars poking their heads out. She could see her breath a little as night flew quietly across the sky and claimed dusk in her cool arms.

"Okay." Luffy's voice had a different edge to it. He was serious. There were times when it softly came creeping in, the seriousness, the kindness, the wisdom. She had sensed it before in Arlong Park and she could feel it now. She turned towards him, eyes brimming below the surface, heart beating a rough, beet-red rhythm, mouth burning to taste the wisdom for itself.

Except that Luffy was already halfway across the ship yelling something about meat and eating it. She smiled inwardly and filed the moment away, climbing down (slowly this time) to join her nakama in the galley with her mission complete.

Later that night she caught up with him.

"Why'd you eat my money, anyways?"

Luffy cocked his head. "You said you loved money, right?"

* * *

_/owarai_

_LuNam is fun fun silly willy.  
And, as a super special alternate ending thing:

* * *

_Later that night she caught up with him.

"Why'd you eat my money, anyways?"

Luffy cocked his head. "I wanted to make sure they weren't poisonous."

* * *


End file.
